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when i rummaged for a certification

What If I Could Change My Mom?

Sometimes, when I read about how "awesome" Zhafira Aqyla's mom or Maudy Ayunda's mom are, I can't help but think that maybe I could be more "awesome" if I had a mother like that. It makes me feel a bit bad, like I'm being ungrateful. But then I realize that it's okay to have those thoughts as long as I don't stop there and blame my own mother.

The first thing I realized is that I, or we, can't choose our initial environment. We have no control over who our parents are or how they will raise us when we're young. It's true that we can't control certain things and that privileges exist. But that's not the real problem. The real problem lies in how we choose to perceive these uncontrollable situations and how we respond to them.

My mother may not have the same level of formal education as Zhafira's mother. However, my mother is the one who supported her own mother and brothers. She's the one who bought me an encyclopedia when I was a child. She's the one who left before sunrise to attend her master's classes while taking care of my brother and me without my father aroundーhe was working in another city that time. My mother has never traveled overseas, but she fully supported my exchange program to Japan last year, even though I had two scholarships, as she encouraged me to save some of my scholarship money.

My mother is an amazing mom. She's also awesome in her own right. It's no longer about wishing for Zhafira's mom to be my mother because, with that mindset, I would probably keep searching for an even more "awesome" mom. But, no, that's not what I want. Even if I could change my mom, I want my mom now to remain my mom, and I love her for who she is.

Instead, I came to a second realization. I want to focus on the question of "so what?" It's true that a child's growth is supported by their parents. So, how can I improve myself to become a great mother? And even before becoming a mother, how can I improve myself to become a great person? Unlike the initial environment I can't control, what I do now is something I can control. That is the one that should be my focus.

There's no need for blame. I believe that things happen for a reason, and if not, I can give them a reason or meaning. It's all about my perspective and how I choose to act.

Also, I'll try to always remember that every individual has their own unique journey. It's important to embrace and appreciate the opportunities and experiences that come my way. My perspective and actions are what truly matter. By channeling my energy into personal growth and making the most of my current circumstances, I can create a meaningful and fulfilling life.


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