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when i rummaged for a certification

Steps (Again)

In the hustle and bustle of chasing dreams, I found myself tangled in the web of big aspirations. Picture this: I want to be this famous, best-selling author, but reality check– you can't go from zero to hero overnight . It hit me like a ton of bricks, realizing the path to success involves building a reader fanbase, winning the trust of publishers, and oh, yeah, actually writing something that matters. Somewhere along the line, I got lost in the chaos. The joy of writing, the raw love for crafting words that once consumed me, started fading into the background . All the noise about making money, fulfilling daily needs, and achieving something grand took over. It's like I need my psychologist tap me again on the shoulder and say, "Hey, stop wasting energy on the colossal stuff. It's a step-by-step game." And so, I'm taking a breather. It's a gentle reminder to embrace the process, to rediscover that spark, and not let the grind steal the happiness from wha

Steps

Alright, buckle up for my little tale of tackling life one moment at a time. So, there I am, staring at this idea of long-term planning, feeling like I'm supposed to have my whole life mapped out. But let's be honest, life's more like a crazy rollercoaster than a neatly laid-out road. So, I decided to ditch the marathon and embrace the sprint, well, more like a leisurely stroll for now. So, the plan? Day-to-day, maybe even hour-to-hour. It's like jotting down the random thoughts bouncing in my head, a brain dump if you will. It's wild how freeing it is to not stress about the grand plan. I mean, remember when we were babies? We didn't just pop up and start running marathons; we crawled, stumbled, and eventually took those wobbly first steps. That's my vibe right now – the messy, beautiful process of figuring things out. Sure, it might not be the textbook "ideal" way, but who's to say what's ideal anyway? Life's messy, and I'm here f

What If I Could Change My Mom?

Sometimes, when I read about how "awesome" Zhafira Aqyla's mom or Maudy Ayunda's mom are, I can't help but think that maybe I could be more "awesome" if I had a mother like that. It makes me feel a bit bad, like I'm being ungrateful. But then I realize that it's okay to have those thoughts as long as I don't stop there and blame my own mother. The first thing I realized is that I, or we, can't choose our initial environment. We have no control over who our parents are or how they will raise us when we're young. It's true that we can't control certain things and that privileges exist. But that's not the real problem. The real problem lies in how we choose to perceive these uncontrollable situations and how we respond to them. My mother may not have the same level of formal education as Zhafira's mother. However, my mother is the one who supported her own mother and brothers. She's the one who bought me an encycloped

About Separation and the Promise of Forever

Living far from home has its ups and downs. My university is on a different island, which means I'm separated from my family by miles. Today, I said goodbye to my grandmother, then to my mother at the airport, and finally to my father before he headed off on a business trip. It's always tough being apart from loved ones, but the hardest goodbyes are the ones caused by death. Luckily, in Islam, we have a beautiful concept called akhirat, the afterlife. In Islam, akhirat reminds us that our time in this world is temporary, but what lies beyond is everlasting. It's like planting seeds: if we do good deeds, they outweigh the bad ones, and we earn God's mercy and approval. This means we have a shot at entering paradise, where we can be reunited with our loved ones who also lived good lives. Isn't that a beautiful idea? It's something that encourages kindness in the world and gives us hope for a forever with those we hold dear. As I reflect on these thoughts, I find s

Little Things That Warm the Heart in Gramedia

During my time at Gramedia, I stumbled upon a heartwarming scene that left a lasting impression on me. A mother was engaging her young son, teaching him about the alphabet and encouraging him to return a book to its shelf. "Thank you. Good job," she lovingly expressed. Witnessing this exchange filled my heart with warmth and tenderness. It reminded me of the power of gentle words and positive reinforcement in nurturing a child's growth. As I immersed myself in the surroundings, another interaction caught my attention. A young elementary school student conversed with her mother in English. In that moment, a sense of admiration mingled with a tinge of envy within me. It wasn't until my third year of college that I gained the confidence to speak English fluently, and here were these young children already displaying a command of the language. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, but also a sense of wonder at their early accomplishments. It made me reflect o

The Things You Can See When You Slow Down

Today, I embarked on a slow-motion journey, inspired by the title of a book I just bought, "The Things You Can See When You Slow Down." Although I haven't read its pages yet, my day seemed to unfold in a leisurely pace, allowing me to appreciate the little wonders around me. As I skimmed through the latest volumes of Detective Conan and Attack on Titan at Gramedia, I couldn't help but immerse myself in the joy of reading my favorite mangas. Lost in their captivating worlds, time seemed to stand still. However, amidst the pages, a glimpse caught my eye—a book different from the mangas that surrounded me. Intrigued, I decided to purchase it, defying my usual habit of contemplation. Sometimes, certain things simply capture our attention without needing days or weeks of deliberation. Fueled by curiosity, I embarked on a search for a pen and small notes, reminiscent of my high school days. I wandered through the aisles of Gramedia, retracing the familiar steps I once took

talking about past mistakes' shadow

As I lay in bed, my mind was consumed by a heavy weight, the weight of my past mistakes and failures. It was as if a dark cloud had descended over me, and I couldn't escape its shadow. No matter how much I tried to push those negative thoughts away, they clung to me like a thick fog, suffocating me. The thought that I might have caused harm to myself and others lingered like a bad dream. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like my mistakes were ingrained in my character, a part of who I am. And this realization only added to my worries, causing me to wonder if I would ever be able to make things right. As I struggled to find a way forward, I couldn't help but feel helpless and lost. The gloom of my thoughts seemed to suffuse everything around me, casting a pall over even the brightest moments. It was as if I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair, unable to see a path out. In moments like these, it's easy to forget that we have the power to shape our own

Reflections on Ied Al Fitr

On the joyous occasion of Idul Fitri, I had the pleasure of visiting my extended family, and what I encountered there left me deeply impressed. Amongst the elders of my family were some truly remarkable people, who had carved out illustrious careers as leading anesthesiologists in Medan, eminent lawyers, and distinguished lecturers. As I conversed with them, I realized two critical things that would shape my perspective towards my chosen profession. Firstly, the sight of my extended family's accomplished professionals inspired me to become a force for positive change. It struck me that the professions they had chosen were not just "cool" but served as a catalyst for social and economic development, which motivated me to become a professional capable of benefiting society.  I was reminded of a beautiful analogy that I once heard - just like the mighty oak tree that casts its shadow to protect and nourish those beneath its boughs, our profession must serve as a shelter, pro

Kuala Lumpur Bound: Notes from a Solo Traveler #1

๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ‘€✈️๐Ÿ™๐Ÿœ๐Ÿ’ค๐ŸŒ†๐Ÿ‘‹๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿ”Œ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ“š After more than a year and a half, I finally mustered the courage to sit beside the window on my flight to Kuala Lumpur. There were times when I cried a lot due to my fear of flying, but this time I decided to take the window seat and was rewarded with a beautiful view of the city lights at night. It was a long-awaited sight! Before my flight, I took some time to perform a short itikaf in the airport prayer room. I was feeling a mix of emotions- nervousness for the journey ahead, sadness for being alone, and maybe even a bit of overthinking about unfinished work and friendships. But during my prayers, I felt a sense of peace and comfort. After praying, I went on a search for sahoor. I hoped to find KFC in the airport, but there wasn't any open, so I looked for rice. Unfortunately, all I found was noodles, so I grabbed some to go and headed to my gate. As I arrived, people were already queuing to board, but I took a moment to sit and eat my noodles. Just in

75 Hal yang Ingin Saya Lakukan Setelah Membaca "The Art of Thinking Clearly"

Ajukan pendapatmu, sekalipun itu berlawanan, jika berada di dalam tim yang bersuara bulat, karena bisa jadi ada yang berpikiran serupa tetapi memutuskan tutup mulut;  Pertimbangkan besar kemungkinan sebuah peristiwa;  Nilailah produk dan layanan hanya berdasarkan harga dan keuntungannya;  Mulailah berpikir dari hal yang paling umum;  Sadari bahwa di dunia nyata, keseimbangan sangat mungkin tidak terjadi;  Saat ingin memengaruhi orang lain, beri umpan atau acuan terlebih dahulu;  Sadari bahwa kepastian adalah hal yang paling tidak pasti;  Sadari bahwa hal buruk memang lebih mudah diingat;  Buatlah sejelas mungkin pembagian tugas individual dalam kerja kelompok;  Saat menghadapi pertumbuhan sesuatu yang eksponensial, jangan di kira-kira berapa hasilnya. Hitunglah dengan kalkulator; Sebisa mungkin jangan ikuti lelang;  Jika ingin benar-benar memahami sesuatu, lihat apa yang ada di baliknya;  Cermati hubungan yang katanya "sebab-akibat", siapa tahu "akibat-sebab" atau b

ใ‚ชใƒŽใƒžใƒˆใƒšใฎๅคงๅญฆ็”Ÿๆดป:้‡่ทใ‚’่ƒŒ่ฒ ใ†ๅฟƒใฎๅ•ใ„

ใƒ”ใƒผใƒ”ใƒผใจใ„ใ†้ณฅใฎ้ณดใๅฃฐใง็›ฎใŒ่ฆšใ‚、ใ‚ฐใƒƒใ‚ฟใƒชใจใ„ใ†ๆ—ฅใ€…ใฎ่ฒฌไปปใซ่‚ฉใ‚’่ฝใจใ™。ใ™ในใฆใ‚’ไน—ใ‚Š่ถŠใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใฎใ‹?ๅฟƒใฎใ‚ญใƒฅใƒณใจใ„ใ†็—›ใฟใ‚’ไน—ใ‚Š่ถŠใˆใฆ、ไธ€ๆ—ฅใ‚’ไน—ใ‚Šๅˆ‡ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹? ใƒ–ใƒ„ใƒ–ใƒ„ใจ้Ÿณใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใฆใ‚ญใƒƒใƒใƒณใซๅ‘ใ‹ใ„、ใ‚ดใ‚ฝใ‚ดใ‚ฝใจ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹。ไฝ•ใ‚’้ฃŸในใ‚ˆใ†ใ‹?ใ‚ซใƒฉใ‚ซใƒฉใจ่…นใŒ้ณดใ‚‹。ๆ…ฐใ‚ใซใชใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎ、ๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎ、ใฉใกใ‚‰ใŒ่‰ฏใ„ใฎใ ใ‚ใ†?่‰ฏใ„ๆœ้ฃŸใŒไธ€ๆ—ฅใ‚’้Žใ”ใ™ไธŠใงๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้‡่ฆใชใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹? ใŠๆฐ—ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Šใฎใ‚ขใƒ‹ใƒกใ‚’่ฆ‹ใชใŒใ‚‰、ใƒ‰ใ‚ญใƒ‰ใ‚ญใจ็‰ฉ่ชžใซๆฒก้ ญใ—ใฆ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹。ใงใ‚‚、ใ‚จใƒณใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใƒณใ‚ฐใง็พๅฎŸใŒใƒ–ใƒใƒƒใจๆˆปใฃใฆใใ‚‹。ใ“ใฎใพใพๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใฎใ‹?่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ใ“ใ‚“ใชใซ้…ทไฝฟใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซไพกๅ€คใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹? ใƒŸใƒผใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒณใ‚ฐใ‚„ใ‚ฏใƒฉใ‚นใซๅ‡บๅธญใ—ใชใŒใ‚‰、ใ‚ดใƒœใ‚ดใƒœใจ่ƒธใฎ้‡ใ•ใซ่€ใˆใ‚‹。ไผ‘ๆ†ฉใ‚’ใจใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใจไบบใ€…ใŒ่จ€ใ†ใฎใ‚’่žใใŒ、ใƒ”ใƒชใƒ”ใƒชใจใ—ใŸๆฐ—ๆŒใกใจ、ใ‚ใใ‚‰ใ‚ใšใซไธ€็”Ÿๆ‡ธๅ‘ฝๅŠชๅŠ›ใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใจไบบใ€…ใŒ่จ€ใ†ใฎใ‚‚่žใ“ใˆใ‚‹。ๆญฃใ—ใ„้“ใฏใฉใกใ‚‰ใชใฎใ‹?ๆญฃใ—ใ„้“ใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹? ็ ”็ฉถๅŠฉๆ‰‹ใจใ—ใฆๅƒใใชใŒใ‚‰、ใƒ‰ใƒณใƒ‰ใƒณใจ็–ฒใ‚ŒใŒ่ฟฝใ„ใคใ„ใฆใใ‚‹。ใงใ‚‚、่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ใ‚ฌใƒƒใƒใƒชใจไฟใก、ไน—ใ‚Šๅˆ‡ใ‚ใ†ใจใ™ใ‚‹。ๅŠชๅŠ›ใŒใ‚ฌใƒ„ใƒณใจๅ ฑใ‚ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹?ใใ‚Œใจใ‚‚、ใ‚ฎใƒฅใƒƒใจ็–ฒใ‚ŒใจๅพŒๆ‚”ใ—ใ‹ๆฎ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹? ๆ˜Žๆ—ฅ、ๆ˜ŽๅพŒๆ—ฅ、ใใฎๅ…ˆใŒใฉใ†ใชใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‘ใ‚Œใฉ、ๅ›ใฏใใ‚Œใงใ‚‚ใƒใƒชใƒใƒชใจ่ฉฆใ—็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹。ใ™ในใฆใŒใƒˆใƒณใƒˆใƒณใจๅ›ฐ้›ฃใชใจใใงใ‚‚、่ฉฆใ—็ถšใ‘ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„。ใฉใ†ใชใ‚‹ใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹?ๅผทใ็”Ÿใใ‚‹ๅŠ›ใ‚’ใƒใƒณใƒใƒณ่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹?็ญ”ใˆใฏใ‚ฟใ‚ฟใ‚ฟใจๆ™‚้–“ใŒ่งฃๆฑบใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ ใ‚ใ†。

Dancing in the Rain: Embracing Life's Questions

On this cloudy, rain-soaked day, both the sky and my heart seemed to share a melancholy dance. Was it the weather or simply the state of my mind that brought upon such gloom? In the midst of it all, I found solace in the small victories, the moments that brightened my day. The question remained: why did these little things matter so much? As I cooked and cleaned, my thoughts wandered to the tasks that awaited me. Was it a mere coincidence that I finished my shift on time, or was it fate's gentle push that led me to my next adventure? When I took that fiqh class, I couldn't help but wonder: was teaching really the best way to learn? As I shared my knowledge with a friend, I found an answer in the exchange of ideas and the strengthening of bonds. In the company of my dormitory mate, we talked and laughed for hours, making up for the lost time. Was it the rain that had brought us closer, or perhaps the simple realization that we had so much in common? The laughter, a balm for the

Tentang Jam Pulang

Ini adalah tulisan tengah malam sembari menunggu waktu memasak sahur. Langsung ke intinya – saya tinggal di asrama dan saya senang dengan kehidupan saya di sini. Tujuan saya terpenuhi: jaringan baru, rutinitas pagi yang produktif, kelas agama, dan lainnya. Namun, ada satu peraturan yang tetap selalu saya patuhi atau kalaupun saya langgar pasti saya jalankan “hukuman”-nya, tetapi menjadi landasan lahirnya tulisan ini. Sebagai catatan penting, saya hanya membicarakan asrama saya di tahun saya, dan saya menyadari asrama-asrama lain memiliki peraturan yang berbeda dengan justifikasi yang berbeda. Catatan penting lainnya adalah bahwa saya tidak berdiskusi lebih lanjut dengan pengurus asrama dan memulai debat, “Kenapa peraturan ini harus ada?” Tujuan saya bukan untuk mengkudeta asrama dan, sekali lagi, saya menerima adanya peraturan ini. Ini adalah apa-apa yang secara apa adanya pandangan saya saja. Peraturannya adalah, pukul 10 malam ialah batas waktu pulang untuk anggota putri, sementara a

The Recipe for Success: Finding Passion and Maintaining Consistency

 I asked my successful professor for advice on how to find my passion and maintain consistency, hoping to gain some insight into what seemed like a daunting task. However, his response was simple: "Passion is something I like, just know about it, and consistency is difficult only at the beginning. Just do it." I couldn't help but wonder, is it really that easy? As a writer, I often struggle with motivation and consistency, even though I love what I do. Sometimes, I find myself procrastinating or trying out other things, like singing or dancing, instead of focusing on my writing. It's not that I don't enjoy writing, but sometimes I lack the motivation to start or stay consistent. My professor wasn't wrong, but his perspective didn't fully address the complexity of finding passion and maintaining consistency. While it may seem simple in theory, these things can be challenging to put into practice. I believe finding passion is not always straightforward. It&#

Being in a Relationship Means Balancing Two Individual Lives: How I Imagined Making it Work

 As a young person who values my independence, the idea of being in a serious relationship can be intimidating. How would I maintain my sense of self while also making room for another person in my life? It wasn't until I imagined myself in a relationship that I began to understand the importance of balance. The truth is, being in a relationship means that there are two different individuals with their own lives, interests, and priorities. It's not about sacrificing who I am for the sake of the relationship, but rather finding a way to integrate my personal life with my partner's. This means respecting each other's boundaries, communicating openly, and being mindful of how my actions affect the other person. At first, imagining how to find this balance can be a challenge. I might feel like I have to give up certain activities or hobbies to make time for my partner, or vice versa. However, it's important to remember that compromise is key. I wouldn't have to give

Opportunity is Abundant, but Our Time and Energy Are Limited: How to Avoid FOMO and Choose Wisely for Happiness

Opportunity is abundant, but our time and energy are limited. As someone who loves exploring new things and taking on exciting challenges, I know how tempting it can be to say "yes" to every opportunity that comes your way. However, as I've learned from personal experience, trying to do everything at once is not only impossible but can also lead to burnout and stress. Currently, I'm pursuing a fast-track program, which means I'm taking both my bachelor's and master's degrees simultaneously, on top of the many responsibilities I already have. While I would love to say "yes" to more opportunities, I realize that doing so would mean sacrificing the things that are already important to me. So, what can we do to avoid FOMO (fear of missing out) and choose wisely for happiness? Here are a few tips to keep in mind: Recognize that opportunity is abundant, but your time and energy are not Imagine you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet. The food is endles

tears

Growing up, I always felt like I had to put on a brave face. No matter how hard things got, I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I thought it was a sign of weakness, that if I let my emotions show, I would be seen as less than. So, I held it all in. Whenever I felt sad or overwhelmed, I retreated to a quiet corner and let the tears fall. I cried until I felt numb, until I couldn't feel anything at all. It was a way to cope, a way to let out the pain without anyone else knowing. But then, something changed. As I got older, I found myself unable to cry in private anymore. No matter how hard I tried to hold it in, the tears would start to fall as soon as someone asked me if I was okay. It was a strange feeling, to be so vulnerable in front of others. But at the same time, it was a relief. For once, I didn't have to pretend that everything was okay. I could be honest about how I was feeling, and people would listen. Still, there were times when I felt like I had to put on a brave

mesmerized

Of late, there's been someone who's caught my eye. What first struck me was his demeanor towards children. The way he would kneel down, smile and listen to their words, it's like he spoke the same language as them. There's something infectious about his laughter too, just like the sound of bells ringing through the air. He has a quick wit and a good sense of humor, or at least one that's in tune with mine. It's easy to laugh and joke around with him, and it feels like we could keep doing it for hours. And yet, he's also a thoughtful and intelligent person. He's well-read and knowledgeable on a variety of topics, and always has an interesting perspective to share. But there's something else about him that draws me in. Maybe it's his passion for the things he cares about, or the way he stubbornly refuses to compromise his ideals. It's not that he's difficult to understand, but he's definitely not one to follow the crowd. Some of my frie

wishes

I couldn't sleep last night. It was 1 am and my mind was racing, lost in a maze of thoughts and worries. The darkness outside was absolute, and the silence seemed to amplify the sound of my racing heartbeat. I felt lonely and isolated, like I was the only person awake in the world. It was a strange feeling, and it made me think about my life and the people around me. I couldn't help but remember the sound of my mother's voice on the phone earlier that day. She sounded sad and tired, and it made me feel helpless. My grandmother was sick, and I knew it was weighing heavily on her. I wished I could turn back the clock, to the time when I was a child and everything seemed so simple and carefree. It was a time when the world was a kinder and more loving place, and I didn't yet know the bitter taste of life's hardships. As I lay there, I also thought about my friends. I knew that some of them were going through difficult times, and it pained me that I couldn't be ther

Usrah Makan "Daging"

Memasuki akhir pekan terakhir Januari 2023, malamnya saya terjaga karena pelantikan salah satu kepanitiaan di kampus. Saya kembali ketika matahari telah terbit lagi, ke kamar hanya untuk mandi dan sarapan, kemudian bergegas berkumpul dengan teman-teman asrama lagi untuk kegiatan utama saya Sabtu itu:  usrah ke tempat Kang Yudhia. Sebelum pematerian, kami dijamu terlebih dahulu dengan kupat tahu, seperti memastikan jangan sampai kami belajar dalam keadaan laparใƒผyang ada malah memikirkan perut, bukan apa yang disampaikan oleh Kang Yudhia. Beliau juga "membuka" pertemuan dengan ramah dan akrabใƒผmenyapa Luqman yang tengah mempersiapkan presentasi visi dan misinya. Sampai akhir pematerian, atau rasanya lebih tepat disebut diskusi, obrolan terasa hangat dan interaktif; terkadang tertawa tergelak, terkadang mematung merenung. Ringkasan dari  highlight dari yang disampaikan Kang Yudhia adalah sebagai berikut: • Lebih baik benar tapi kalah darpada salah dan menang karena kalau udah sal

Belajar Angka dalam Bahasa Jepang

Tanpa sadar nyaris pukul dua pagi, tapi seperti yang Mas Syarif bilang, "Mimpi itu bukan yang muncul pas kita tidur, tapi justru yang bikin kita rela buat gak tidur!" Sebenarnya aku gak merasa sedang memperjuangkan satu mimpi khusus, sih, emang kebablasan aja belajar bahasa Jepang pakai aplikasi Kanji Study sambil rebahan, nunggu ngantuk. Tapi belajar kanji yang basic  dari aplikasi ini entah gimana mempertemukan aku ke banyak istilah atau idiom bahasa Jepang yang pakai angka! Karena menarik, aku bela-belain download aplikasi Blogger di handphone  karena istilah-istilahnya mau aku taruh di sini ˙˚เฌ˜o(∗ ❛ั แต• ❛ั )เฉญ່˙ 1ใ‚‚2ใ‚‚็„กใ • ใ„ใกใ‚‚ใซใ‚‚ใชใ • ichi mo ni mo naku Kalau secara harfiah, artinya tanpa satu atau dua , tapi secara istilah, artinya bisa  segera (immediately ), atau tanpa berpikir panjang . Contohnya: • 「็ซไบ‹ใ !」ใจใ„ใ†ๅฃฐใ‚’่žใ„ใฆ、 ไธ€ใ‚‚ไบŒใ‚‚ใชใ ้ฃ›ใณๅ‡บใ—ใŸ  • `kaji da!' to iu koe o kiite, ichi mo ni mo naku tobidashita • ketika mendengar teriakan "api!", saya berlari keluar tanpa berpik